Hush-Hush: The coded racism of the Northeast elite

A New England boarding school-bred South Asian reflects on the ways in which he has been socialized into accepting racism and interrogates its compatibilities with other cultural tendencies of the Northeast elite.

I sat by the dining table of my Floridian college-friend’s mother’s suite at the Boston Four Seasons, listening to her debrief the chaos of her day in Boston as we awaited our dinner reservation. The venue was not unfamiliar by any means; just weeks prior I had spent time in a nearly-identical room while visiting a friend I only tangentially know through boarding school (she went to Punahou in Hawaii and was introduced to me by a friend from St. Paul’s with whom she attended primary school in Tokyo — it’s a prep school tale as old as time, the world is very small). Mid-rant, she detailed her recent negative experience with people who “look like me:” specifically, three South Asian college students who were unable to provide her with an iPhone charger she so desperately required, and only after having asked a fourth (white) person were her prayers answered. I did not move, smile plastered on my face, unclear what I was supposed to say. Perhaps an apology on behalf of my people was in order, particularly for the three who were too stingy with their wires. I did not apologize, unfortunately.

Though the Four Seasons suite was familiar scenery, the woman from Florida’s overt, unapologetic, and transparent microaggressions were quite jarring. In my processes of reflection thereafter, I interrogated why exactly I was so shocked: surely, having survived my years at an elite and predominantly white boarding school, environmental factors like racism and wealth were far from alien to me. Yet, never before was a racist slight delivered to me so humbly and expeditiously. Instead, I was accustomed to a more convoluted and indiscernible racism, often delivered on silver platters with white gloves, cleverly disguised via opaque veils of WASP etiquette. I am now left curious about which form I prefer.

“Money talks, wealth whispers.”

Having been socialized in the Northeast, specifically in New England, and even more specifically at St. Paul’s School, the idea of wealth “whispering” has been deeply instilled in me. Traditionally, I would associate the saying “money talks, wealth…